NDAs broken

Okay, in an attempt to save the planet and stop people flying round the world to various briefings, conferences and junkets; I am going to bust open all the NDAs currently in place.

• Storage controllers will be virtualised and the functionality will be abstracted into a portable software layer allowing us to use really cheap commodity hardware, refresh it often and stiff you massively for upgrade costs.
• A common building block based on an open source operating system will be the heart of most storage controllers but we will charge you lots for something you could get for free.
• SSDs will be supported with automated tiering capabilities and also with the ability to use them as a cache of some sort because we still can’t make up our mind which is the best approach.
• FC backplanes will be deprecated and we are moving to a SAS backplane. We don’t have a real reason but it sounds cool.
• Deduplication and compression will be integrated into all of our offerings. We bought a company and we need to do something with it.
• Synchronous replication will transcend distance limitations and we will break the speed of light.
• We will be more scalable than ever before and despite all the efficiency savings that you can gain from our features, you will be more profligate than you ever have.
• We will tightly integrate with VMware and allow you to be even more profligate and provision 1000s of VMs that you do not need and do this extremely quickly. We also integrate with Hyper-V but you don’t care; the only Microsoft product you are interested in is Xbox anyway.
• Our user-interface has been greatly simplified and even an idiot can use it. This is good because it will encourage you to employ idiots and idiots are easier to sell stuff to.
• We have new strategies to address emerging markets including Big Data or as you might call it, somewhere to dump all the crap you’ve downloaded from the Internet and you don’t know what to do with.
• We have a Object Storage product on the roadmap and will be introducing this to the market once we have a clue what it is.
• We have an app….it’s cool! Look!
• We have a Stack…..of Cash!

There you go folks, you can stop flying round the world or if you are, you can at least skip all the sessions and go on a decent bender in the safe knowledge that you are now fully briefed!

This briefing was brought to you courtesy of RSA and SecurID.