Greg recently wrote his Fashion Tips for Network Engineering Men and in doing so, I think he has highlighted some of the differences between Network Engineers and Storage Engineers. So I thought I would take the challenge of giving the sartorially challenged Storage Engineer some help.
Fortunately, I have some fashion pedigree being related to both the Duchess of Cambridge and the Head Buyer for Harvey Nichols; in fact of the three of us, I suspect I am the true fashion leader in the family.
Ties
Every Storage Engineer needs a good collection of ties; these should rarely be worn in the conventional manner but at times, they come in handy for keeping sweat out of your eyes whilst trying to explain why Fibre Channel is a far superior protocol to anything that a Network Engineer might use. Indeed, a number of them can be deployed to prevent said Engineer escaping.
The exception to this is the Black Tie; you should have at least one which can be worn to the many storage award ceremonies which you might get invited to. These are deeply meaningful events where awards are given on a strictly meritorious basis. And they are not an excuse to simply drink large quantities of cheap champagne and wine.
Shirts
Vendor polo shirts should be worn whenever possible; these allow you to demonstrate what high esteem your vendor holds you in. However never let said vendor feel too comfortable, always wear a different vendor polo shirt to the one you are having a meeting with.
For days when you want to dress to impress, nothing says engineer like a dress shirt with the sleeves completely removed.
And for those dress down days, can I suggest a t-shirt with the sleeves removed? Never a vest, that simply looks tacky!
Hats
Face it, no-one looks good in a hat; if you need to keep the sun off your head (and that is unlikely, you are shut away from the sun most of the time), a knotted hankie should suffice.
Portable Computing
Portable computing is not for the Storage Engineer! If you can carry it, it’s non-enterprise kit and we don’t do non-enterprise. Wireless? Pah, if it’s not a fibre cable; it’s not connectivity!
Belt
Belts should be elasticated and not leather. They should be capable of being used as a catapult or if there are a number of you; a ballista.
For the particular daring of you; they can be used for bungee jumping after an awards ceremony.
A diving belt can be used as an albeit for carrying a diving knife but a diving knife is normally overkill for most occasions.
Suits
A dinner suit is the only suit you will likely require, to be worn to important awards ceremonies.
The old favourite boiler suit needs to be worn with care unless you end up making a political statement that you do not wish.
If you end up in court after an awards ceremony, may I suggest your birthday suit; it always impresses the court that you really have nothing to hide.
Shoes
A real engineer would never wear shoes; boots are the preferred wear. Site boots are especially effective wear when bringing complex vendor negotiations to a close.
Converse can be worn but never with a suit; you’ll just end up looking like to you want to be David Tennant in Doctor Who!
Socks
Preferably clean or at least the ones from the bottom of the laundry basket. It is one the place that I really agree with Greg though; simply buy a dozen or so pairs of black socks. That’s unless you are ignoring my footwear advice and are wearing shoes, then white socks are preferred. So much more stylish!
Trousers
Yes! In general trousers are a good idea! Although, a kilt can be an acceptable alternative.
Shorts, especially lycra cycling shorts just make you look like a cycle courier and you are better than that.
Be Amazing
If you take my advice, everyone will know you are a Storage Engineer and you will get the respect due!
